"Laura and I voted absentee…for John and Sarah of course. Our kind of people. Oh I know one of John’s five Secretaries of State said she wasn’t ready for big time. You know the one who wears that suit and vest even in August, what’s his name…bird-burger or something like that. Any way, as to not being prepared to sit in the Oval, I can relate to that. The truth is, while I certainly don’t know her well, she sure reminds me of a Dick-in-the-making. That’s good, isn’t it? And speaking of Secretaries, can you believe that ingrate Colin? Poppi and I made him what he is. Any way, I actually wanted to vote in Crawford, have the kind of photo op that we like to have down there at the ranch. I had planned havin a beer with the guys, but no one seemed to want to have one with me. Hard to figure out what’s goin on.
You know the straight talker said he hoped I would come out and campaign for him…that is, if I could make time in my busy schedule. Thing is, I’ve been so busy gettin reports from the Generals – I don’t make a move without their input – and watchin the economy crater. Laura is relieved I don’t have to worry about my pension in this mess. Any way, I do watch all of Hank and Ben’s press conferences, even caught a few minutes of them on C-Span testifyin up there on the Hill. That Barney Frank really freaks me out. And you know I have been makin some statements of my own, though I can’t quite figure out why they asked me to make them so early in the morning when half the country is still asleep.
Back to the campaign. Oh, I love it out there on the stump, but I guess that Obama fella didn’t use Bill that much either. At least he had a big in-person speech at their convention. Why was it that I only could appear via Satellite? I forget. Any way, Laura went out there which was good and she appeared arm-in-arm with Cindy – our kind of people, the McCains. Beer money, and you know how much I like havin a beer with the guys. Not one appearance with good old John, odd. OK, Bill and Obama haven’t been palling around either, but they did have that 11 PM hug in Florida the other night. I haven’t hugged John since ’04 when he told me how much he admired me after all. 2000…well no hard feelings he said, and any way he sure has learned how to campaign like the best of us. Sock it to ’em John. I wonder if Joe the plumber would like to have a beer? My dad told me Dick Nixon got along well with plumbers, why couldn’t I?
Well better get back to work. There are those toxic loans to clean up, though not as toxic as what I’m leavin behind for the next guy to sit in this place. Wonder if he can do better than me? Well you know what they say, Yes he can!”